More than I can Bear
Today, I went to my final round of chemo. I’m not looking forward to the next few days when I’m going to feel sick and fatigued. But throughout this process, I have learned a lot about what I can bear. I’m not going to pretend. Life has been so much these past few months - finding out I have cancer, then COVID, then racial reckoning. I no longer believe the saying that God won’t give you more than you can bear. All of this is more than I can bear BY MYSELF. When I sit by myself, I’m a crumpled ball overwhelmed with sadness, fear, and pessimistic thoughts. When I sit with God, I have hope and peace, and I see the testimony after the test. I know on social media I post a brave face and appear strong, but recognize that the strength is not mine alone. I am here and healing by the grace of God. I thank God for all of you and all of the prayers and words of encouragement. I love you all fiercely. Please know you made a difference for my spirit and state of mind. While I carry visible side effects from the treatment, I celebrate making it this far and still being healthy!